How to be confident? Isn’t that a question we all have at some point in our lives in what we want to do?
Everyone of us, and I say this with a view to include the best of leaders, entrepreneurs that you know off, will have gone through confidence issues.
Yes, they are amazing but they have gone through a lot of scenarios, stick from others and pain to operate at a level they operate today.
I for one think:
If ever we want to witness on how to be confident, we just have to look at our past.
Each of us have won over so many battles and achieved what we want in the last 10 to 20 years.
Your state of mind at the time wasn’t as confident as it is now.
In other words:
You are battle hardened from those years, whilst you as a person are exposed to new heights of confidence issues that probably are more intense in nature.
If you now accept this as a mechanism that from time to time you will end up in the cycle of being hit with confidence issues with higher intensity, then you pretty much are aware of a mechanism too on how to win over those issues from your own past.
This post is going to give some pointers towards our analysis on what worked for us at Limitless Monks and with a good degree of confidence that these will work for many others as well.
1) Never Generalise
In each of our lives, we excel at things that we work on day to day and fall flat on things that requires new skills to be learnt.
That only says, we will be very confident on few things and will lack confidence on others.
If that is true, then we should never generalise and say “I am not confident” and even worse “He/She lacks confidence”.
If you now twist your mindset and say confidence is nothing to do with you as a personality but everything to do with practising required skillsets.
The more you practise, the more you become confident.
2) Don’t Force Growth
Growth cannot be forced and has to be incremental.
You can take any number of training courses and mentorships you want but the only thing that leads to growth is your self analysis and how you interpret the results from your actions.
Some realise things quicker than others whilst some accelerate things quicker once realised than others.
Identify what you are as a person and use your plus points to your advantage to grow.
Growth at your own pace improves confidence and with appropriate fall back levers in the event of any failures.
3) Repetition And Preparation Builds Confidence
While preparation builds confidence, Repetition breeds results. Its as simple as that.
You cant gain full confidence by just doing anything once.
Repeat what you did multiple times with some kind of retrospection to improve the process further and then see where your confidence level stands.
The quicker you and me realise this and put the procrastination to bed, the better for us.
4) The Stretch Vs. Panic Task
If a stretch task is one that pushes you to exploit your full potential to perform a task then panic task is one which makes you completely uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable usually to an extent that it may lead to fear, exhaustion and loss of confidence.
Here is the thing:
Your confidence is proportional to your ability to judge what you are doing is falling into your stretch zone or panic zone.
Simple rule that we applied is remain in stretch zone and try to avoid panic zone tasks as much as we can.
Confidence building is best done within your stretch zone as compared to comfort or panic zones.
5) Subject Matter Expertise
Reading books and writing for some sort as a habit goes a long way to improve your subject matter expertise and hence your confidence within what you do.
I hate reading but what works for me is to fail and learn. I tend to try out something fall flat and learn what not to do.
However, am getting better at reading and learning from others experiences. Anything for confidence building :).
The second big reason why we write this blog is to reiterate what we learnt in developing ourselves each year and investing in property as our journal.
6) Building Your Tribe
Build your network that is aligned to you and who are able to give you space, respect your values.
We may have tens of thousands of followers but not all will be your network who will encourage and support you.
Its those few who impact and empower you to be who you truly are.
Thats your tribe who will ensure any failures are controlled and bring you back to your confident self.
7) Add Value To Others
I mentioned about second big reason in one of the points above on why we write this blog.
Here is the first big reason why we love writing this blog.
This blog is our way to add value to anyone who intends to grow in their personal and business lives and above 90% of the content is free.
If you wonder what has value addition got to do with how to be confident, then here is the thing.
Adding value to anyone in any quantity will only boost your self worth and that of others which proportionally boosts self confidence.
8) Set A Challenge And Achieve It
Start setting smallest of challenges that you can achieve in under a week and then grow into bigger challenges that you can incrementally make a lifestyle of such good challenges and habits.
Consistency was my biggest issue 4 years ago but since then I have grown into a person who understood consistency and science behind it when applied to masses.
My experiment on consistency was to do my fitness routine of 5 days a week without fail which I have been doing for over 2 years.
This now is practised by my teenager at home too taking the findings from my experiments to another validation level.
Property viewings every fortnight is another routine we implemented as a challenge at Limitless Monks. You can find our detailed viewings guide here as a system.
The theory is this, if you experiment one thing that boosts your confidence then you can use same science on any other thing you wish to excel.
9) Confidence Building With Conscious Mind
What helped us a lot on how to be confident, is having a gratitude mindset and affirmations built into our morning routine that aligns with what we want to become.
Needless to say, there were times when our backs were firmly on to the wall and we needed to gather a bit of courage to get out of situations.
The positive self talk that you are able to do with yourself cannot be beaten in lifting your confidence levels up instantly and eventually.
The best way to combat that self talk or internal dialogue (negative one) is with internal dialogue itself (positive one).
10) Always Retrospect And Question
Finally, I took this from a framework we use in our IT industry a lot to deliver projects. “Scrum” framework, an agile philosophy.
Scrum framework has a thing called retrospection where we ask ourselves 3 simple questions.
- What has gone well
- What has not gone well
- What actions do we take to improve further
Ask those same questions when you are implementing measures to boost your confidence periodically.
It is always long term view improving your confidence or personality as a whole and cannot think to achieve in a day or two.